Guy and I have decided to give up cable.

Our reasons for getting cable in the first place were, if I recall correctly, Studio 60 and the Yes Network. Since both Studio 60 and the Yankees have kind of sucked out, we took a moment to reassess whether we really need cable.

Cons:

1. The aforesaid Yankees. Guy doesn't mind as much, but I wince every time he wants to watch a game, and because I'm a spoiled brat we usually just watch either Buffy or whatever we have from Netflix. We watched more earlier in the season, but now I just find it depressing. Even when they win.

2. The old adage "there is never anything on" is so completely, entirely, totally in every way true.

3. While it is nice to have shows available—shows like Heroes, for example, and Coupling—I could so totally rent those and frankly would rather do so because then they wouldn't have commercials and I could watch them in a row instead of waiting for SIX WEEKS WHICH IS NOT HEROIC AT ALL SYLAR COULDA KILLED HOW MANY PEOPLE IN ALL THAT TIME.

Pros:

1. On the other hand, it is nice to have shows like House and Who's Line Is It Anyway available, because those aren't really renters but Hey, I kinda feel like watching a crabby doctor whose American accent still freaks me out a little. But actually now that I think about it, I watch Who's Line Is It Anyway for hours on end so really it does fall into the rental category and I heard House is completely, insanely inaccurate which kinda spoils the fun. So really this entry belongs under Cons.

2. On Demand, though. On Demand is good. We watched Die Hard With A Vengeance the other night. Just doesn't get better than that.

3. The kids really like them some America's Funniest Home Videos. And Hannah Montana. And The Naked Brothers. And Fairly Odd Parents. And Drake and Josh. And Zach and Cody. I have the sense that the Disney Channel is visual crack. I don't know how else to explain High School Musical.


So. It was a difficult decision. But then we saw something that made our decision so clear, so right, it was like the clouds parted and the angels above sang out the answer in ten-part harmony.

We watched Animal Planet's Chased By Sea Monsters.

Not something we would ordinarily have watched, but having scrolled through the channel guide and discovered that (surprise!) nothing was on, we felt that a show with the words "sea monsters" in the title deserved a closer look.

Now I'm not sure what this show deserves. The guillotine would be too kind.

"Naturalist" Nigel Marven goes diving with the sea monsters. He and his crew go out on a boat, and sail around with their radar until they find something scary, and then he puts on his scuba gear and tries not to get killed. Fair enough.

But the monsters are prehistoric.

They are CGI.

And yet he tracks them on radar and swims away quickly in case the scary computer graphic bites him in half.

It would of course be one thing if this were a Magic School Bus-type kids show. But it's not. It was on at 9:30. The tone was adulty, or at the very least teenagery.

Nigel scanned that radar. Would the Mosasaur be swimming in Hell's Aquarium? Would it??? It would! Hooray! But it is far, far too dangerous to go diving in these dangerous waters. Nigel can't risk it. Even his smell suit wouldn't keep him safe.*

Oh, but Nigel can't resist.

And in he goes! I'm so surprised! How thrilling! Uhoh--watch out! And elasmosaur is attacking the giant CGI turtle Nigel is riding! And now a bunch of them are attacking the boat! And at the end? Nigel and his crew die, asleep in their bunks, killed by a swarm of Mosasaurs.

And the colored angels sing: Doo, doo doo, do-do-do, doo, doo doo, doo doo, do-do-do....Goodbye, Cable!




*Yes. Nigel wore a "smell suit" to survive swimming with Dunkleosteuses. When one came to attack him, he released the odor of rotting reptile into the water.**

**I would go into how retarded it is to release the odor of rotting reptile when one considers that at the time, they were busy attacking Nigel and another rotting reptile***, but that would presume some sense of logic in a show that is honest to God featuring a man in scuba gear swimming with dinosaurs.

***I would go into how bad the CGI effects were, to the point where the rotting reptile looked like a stone statue dinosaur that was crumbling into dust, but that would presume some sense of anybody caring about this stupid ass show enough to do a decent job on the special effects.

And Now For Something Only Sort Of Different

I'm not one for nature shows. Ever. Oooh, a dumbass in a cage is being circled by a shark! And a lion ate a caribou! That is SO THRILLING. AND NOT AT ALL GROSS.

But I am obsessed with The Discovery Channel's Planet Earth. (This is a weird time to post this though, because last week's episode featuring a giant hill of batshit swarming with cockroaches? Not recommended).

I can't say that I've learned anything super-exciting about any of the animals featured. Lots of creatures depend on grass and water. Birds of any feather, when it comes to choosing where to birth or raise their young, are COMPLETE DUMBASSES. Animals eat other animals' babies. And take those babies to feed their own babies, who would otherwise starve to death.

Yeah, not new.

But the footage is incredible. Absolutely amazing shots--I spend the entire hour gasping and ooohing and ahhhing over how stunning the world is. I look forward to watching these even more than I look forward to rewatching episodes of Buffy. Which may not seem like a resounding recommendation but it really is.



The cutest little bear cub ever! Love love want to hug and squeeze (there are lots of cute babies on this show. I do wonder what the evolutionary reasoning is behind making humans love all babies--other animals certainly don't seem to share this tendency).



That's a herd of something or other down there. I don't care what exactly, it's just beautiful.



Lots of elephants on this show. Elephants seem to live in many many different kinds of climates. But dude, check out that sand dune.



That right there is a snow leopard. I haven't seen this episode yet, but I'm excited.



Even those who already know the story of the emperor penguins (because seriously, there was a whole movie about them already, which was probably being shown while the poor Planet Earth guys were out there filming the penguins. Suckers.) will enjoy this. Is pretty.



Very pretty.

Heroes gives me nightmares

And not because of Sylar's crucifixion of Isaac. It's because of Peter and Claire.

See, from the moment Peter saved the cheerleader, I've been convinced those two should hook up. They're good together! And he needs a woman. Badly. So she's only sixteen--she's very mature for her age! And they're Heroes--they should stick together.



But then the stupid show had to go and make Nathan her father and now Peter's her uncle, and first of all, how soap opera-y is that? And second of all, noooooo they have such good chemistry you can't just waste that kind of thing on elaborate inbreeding!

Even last night, when Claire pulls the piece of glass out of Peter's head and revives him in a reverse Sleeping Beauty, I was all "Ooh, they should kiss!" Except no, because it would be sick and wrong.

And so last night I went to sleep still seething with frustration that will never go away unless we discover that Nathan isn't Claire's father, that it's really Linderman or something. Hey, a girl can dream. And I did.

I dreamt that because of something to do with my uncle, I wouldn't be able to get married unless my father married my sister.

Sick and wrong.

Obligatory

Hey, this a Buffyverse website, okay? An Anya Bunny picture is, like, required.

Spike

Spike on Angel is, unfortunately, Diet Spike. He is shot to look shorter, his accent is different, and his voice is pitched higher. Gone is the Spike who draped himself decoratively over a cross.

However, Spike is a breath of fresh air on a show that has boxed itself into a very depressing corner in Season 5.

A little background: Angel sired Drusilla, who sired Spike. Angel is no longer the only vampire with a soul, as Spike recently got himself one too. There is a prophecy, the Shanshu prophecy, that states that the vampire with a soul, if he saves the world from a bunch of apocalypses, will become human. Now there are two. And both of them have dated Buffy. Tricky.

Of course, for the first half of Season 5, the point is moot since Spike is a ghost (he died saving the world from an apocalypse, but somehow reappeared in Angel's office):

Fred: "Spike has a soul?"

Angel: "Forgot to mention that."

Spike: "Or maybe Captain Forehead was feeling a little less special. Another vampire with a soul in the world."

Angel: "You're not in the world, Casper."

Things get a little more complicated--and violent--when Spike gets magically recorporealized, and realizes that he just might be the vampire with a soul the prophecy is talking about--a theory that sends Angel into a tailspin. The two of them go after The Cup of Torment, which will supposedly determine which of them it is. (For anyone who just rolled their eyes at the lameness of "The Cup of Torment," it's a joke: the thing turns out to be a hoax, and filled with Mountain Dew.) Spike an Angel beat each other up pretty badly for two guys who are supposed to have souls and be fighting for good and all, but the situation seems to be bringing up some unresolved issues, as it were. Back in the day, Angel was just about the worst kind of serial killer you can think of, so bad that he could atone for a thousand years and save millions of lives, and probably still go to Hell. He emotionally tortured Spike, and turned a kind of happy-go-lucky nerd of a vampire into a mass murderer. He was cursed with a soul, as punishment; Spike nearly died earning his.

Spike: "Every time you look at me, you see all the dirty little things I've done, all the lives I've taken--because of you! Drusilla sired me, but you made me a monster."

There was one episode I almost didn't rewatch; it's great, but it's very scary and I was all alone.

In the last episode of Buffy, a bunch of girls known as "slayer potentials," i.e. girls that could be called to be a slayer if Buffy were to die, were suddenly imbued with slayer power, creating an army of slayers. One such girl, Dana, was in a mental institution--she had been kidnapped and tortured as a child, and was already not what you'd call stable. When she received the memories off all the slayers that had come before (a side-effect), the violence of these memories triggered a true psychotic break. She escapes and begins slaughtering everyone she comes across. Because Dana's memories include being murdered by Spike (he killed two slayers), Spike gets special treatment: she cuts his arms off.

Spike (to Angel): "Lass thought I killed her family, and I'm supposed to what, complain because hers wasn't one of the hundreds I did kill? I'm not saying you're right, because I'm physically incapable, but for a demon I never really did think that much about the nature of evil. I just threw myself in. I liked the rush. I never did look back at the victims."

Angel: "I couldn't take my eyes off them. I was only in it for the evil. It was everything to me. It was art. The destruction of a human being...I would've considered Dana a masterpiece."

Spike: "The tingling in my forearms tells me she's too far gone to help. She's one of us now. A monster."

Angel: "She's an innocent victim."

Spike: "So were we. Once upon a time."

Illyria

Illyria is a god from way back when men were muck; in order to ensure the continuation of her reign, she turned herself into an infection, which would hollow out the body and soul of whatever unlucky person happened to be nearby at the appointed moment. That unlucky person was Fred (a likeable but unfortunately somewhat dull science nerd who was cute when she was crazy but is now just blah, so really it was for the best).

If this sounds like an unlikely candidate for arguably the most interesting character on the show, and certainly the savior of Season 5, I would have to agree.

Illyria arrived right when Wesley and Fred finally got together. Of course, this being Joss Whedon and all, that's to be expected. He can't let his characters actually be happy or anything. Fred dies in Wesley's arms, and then jumps back up, suddenly blue and suddenly someone else.

This would all be very evil and terrifying if Illyria had actually meant to kill Fred, or had killed her as anything other than an unavoidable side-effect of her own survival. And the worst of it is that Illyria comes to regret this as much as anyone else: it being millenia later and all, the world is somewhat different than when she left it. Her kingdom has been destroyed in her absence. Her powers (though still incredible by anyone else's standards) are diminished. She kneels before the ruins of her kingdom, murmuring "my world is gone." Wesley points a gun at her and says, "Now you know how I feel." She looks up at him, and he sees that she does, in fact, know how he feels, and is just as broken as he is. He doesn't fire.

And at that moment, Illyria becomes something other than just another big bad. She is lost, and uncertain, and has never been uncertain before. She hesitantly turns to Wesley for guidance: "If I abide, will you help me?" Wesley agrees. "Because I look like Fred?" Wesley whispers, afraid of his own answer: "Yes."

Wesley and Illyria make for an unusual pair. Wesley doesn't blame her for Fred's death, exactly, but of course he can't avoid the fact that she did in fact kill the woman he loved. Illyria thinks humans are vermin, but something about this one--it could be the fact that she retains Fred's memories--merits her respect, among other things. I don't think it could quite be said that Illyria falls in love with Wesley; I don't think she's capable of that. But she feels as strongly for him as she is able to feel at all.

Wesley attempts to reverse the past, to bring Fred back, and in so doing, as an unavoidable side-effect, he would kill Illyria. He fails. Illyria accuses him of betraying her; Wesley shrugs. What else would he do, under these circumstances? Would she do any different? Illyria pauses. "Betrayal was a neutral word in my day. As unjudged a word as water, or breeze." And yet it is clear that Illyria's sense of betrayal is as we would define it now.

Illyria chooses to be blue; she can look and sound like Fred, if she chooses. She offers herself to Wesley, in Fred's form, saying "You feel love for this form. I wish to explore it further." Wesley refuses, horrified, and demands that she never take on Fred's appearance again. The effect on Illyria is like a fourteen-year-old being rejected by her first crush. She doesn't know how to handle it.

While I'm not crazy about Season 5, the last episode is one of my favorites of the series. It has great, classic lines like "Your manservant has become entangled in my bodily fluids again!" This is the kind of show where people say things like that. It's also the kind of show that will make you cry.

This is the last hurrah--they're all going to die at the end of the day, and they know it. The characters all go off to do the one thing they want to do before they die. Wesley stays and bandages a wounded Illyria. She asks him why he isn't off somewhere else, and Wesley shrugs and says where else would he go? There isn't one last walk in the sunshine that will make his life okay. Illyria offers to be Fred for him, knowing that if he could, he would spend his last day with her. This time, the offer is a gift for Wesley, not an attempt to use his emotions for Illyria's own pleasure. He still refuses; he is incapable of lying to himself.

Of course, at the end of the day, Wesley does die. Illyria arrives too late to save him, and asks if now he would like her to lie to him. "Oh, yes please," Wesley says. And Illyria/Fred holds Wesley, telling him how much she loves him, crying as he dies. Illyria says goodbye to Wesley, and Wesley says goodbye to both women.

In seven episodes, Illyria becomes one of the most complex and tragic characters in the entire series. The idea of a god who is suddenly expected to deal with other people's emotions--and incredibly, have them herself--produces an incredible combination of fear, arrogance, power, and vulnerability.

But What About Angel?

I just spent the last two hours reading through the New York Times' archives under the search directive "Joss Whedon."

Most are, at first grudging, then more enthusiastic admissions of respect for Buffy--the enthusiastic ones are dated in 2002, at which point Buffy had been on for five seasons, and had, according to most but not me, passed its peak. (The rest of the articles are bitching about how Firefly is weird, which turns into "Wow, wasn't that show great and isn't it tragic that it got cancelled?" once it got cancelled.)

Suffice it to say, if the Times is on board, I think it is now officially A-OK to say that I like Buffy. I could probably even go so far as to say that I think it is an intelligent and well-written show, a cult classic in the good way, and probably the most influential series of the nineties.

Whew! I was getting kind of tired of the eye-rolling at my dvd collection. I'll probably never convince my parents that Buffy is some damn fine television, but I can talk about it at cocktail parties now without being that weird dork who is talking about Buffy. (Now I can be that cool dork who is talking about Buffy, an important distinction).

But I'm about to plant myself firmly back in weird dork territory, and take a stand that, as far as I can tell, none have taken. My only hope is that one day I can say "I said it first" and buy back any coolness points I am about to lose.

I think Angel is better than Buffy.

I'm not saying I don't think Buffy is good, I would NEVER SAY THAT. But I don't think it's as good as Angel.

I didn't expect to like Angel--or Buffy, for that matter. I got pulled into both shows by James Marsters. Some friends in college sat me down to watch Buffy, saying "you will love this show, and even if you don't love this show, you will love Spike." That was, ahem, in Season 6, so there was a whole lot of Spike to love. Midway through the season, i.e. before the attempted rape and the end of my starry-eyed love affair with Season 6, I taped a five-day Buffy marathon on F/X and caught myself up on the entire series. There was a lot more to love than just Spike.

Those selfsame friends had been talking about Angel, but I felt no particular desire to watch it, though obviously I now trusted their judgment. I thought Angel was the weakest character on Buffy; at any rate, he was as cardboard as the show got. Why on earth would I watch a show named after him?

I gave in and watched Angel out of desperation. I had already seen all of Buffy, Firefly was off the air, and I had just moved to New York and had no friends. I read that Spike was now on Angel, which made it seem significantly more palatable. I'd always liked Cordelia, and unlike most I thought Wesley had potential. Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad.

I bought all five seasons within the space of two months. I spent those two months doing little besides watching Angel. And when I finally got a life and regained my sanity and casually went back and watched a few episodes of Buffy, it just wasn't the same.

It took a little while for me to realize this, but Angel is the better show.

Buffy is hailed as brilliant most often because of its metaphor: the Hellmouth/vampire slaying as a metaphor for the pain of being a teenager, Willow's magic addiction as a metaphor for drug addiction, Angel losing his soul as a metaphor for guys who lose their soul when you have sex with them (okay so, to paraphrase Giles, the subtext there was pretty much the text). But the fact is that Buffy, more often than not, is hampered by its need to stay within the metaphor.

Angel has a much grander vision. Season 1 is, for the most part, a series of monster-of-the-week episodes, and something I go back to when I want to watch a single episode, a kind of espresso shot of fun. The other seasons don't allow that.

I tried to watch a single episode from Season 3 last week--I ended up giving up and inserting disc one, because now I have to watch the whole thing. And Season 4, because the two are inextricably connected.

Firefly got cancelled because Fox wanted less arc and more sitcom. Anyone who has seen Buffy rolls their eyes, because Joss Whedon is all about arc. Anyone who has seen Angel knows that anyone who has only seen Buffy hasn't seen anything yet.

There are seeds laid in Season Two that won't reveal themselves until the end of Season Four. That's arc. But unlike Lost, which slowly dribbles out information and basically drove me away because of its unwillingness to give its viewers anything to watch, only things to look forward to, it doesn't feel like seeds are being laid, and certainly not like information is being withheld. I never finished an Angel episode throwing up my hands and saying "Well, goddamn it, what does that mean, and why do we still not know anything about Jack, or what the deal is with Claire's baby, or why Walter's stepdad thought he was weird?"

Instead, I finished an ordinary Angel episode laughing, or thinking about how good the acting was. Information and groundwork was snuck in, and all I had to do was watch an entertaining and intelligent show. And I finished an extraordinary episode marvelling at either the complexities of the plotline: "Oh my God. Really?? And yet, thinking back, I guess that makes sense...oh my God," the complexities of the characters: Angel's really much more interesting than I thought he was, Cordelia rules way more, I'm just going to skip right on over Gunn and Fred since they really aren't all that interesting, but my God Wesley makes up for it, not to mention Lila, Darla, and Illyria among those who do so much with relatively so little screen time.

Over the next while-I-feel-like-it, I plan to analyze/obsess over some of those complexities. If you're like me, a little spoilage won't distress you, but if not, and I've actually managed to convince anyone to watch the show, don't read and ruin it for yourself. I'm going to go home and watch all the Illyria episodes I can squeeze in. Stay tuned.

I Heart Christmas

I love Christmas. Everything about it really. I've heard all the complaints: "It's so commercial--look at all those stores putting up Christmas decorations, just trying to get us to spend our money." The decorations are pretty. They make me smile, but they're not forcing me to spend money just because they're all sparkly. "It's expensive." It can be, but I LIKE getting and giving gifts. It's fun, and what I choose to spend my money on. It is a choice, you know.

Cordelia: I love Christmas!

Guy: You love standing in line?

Cordelia: Standing in line isn't Christmas--I never have to stand in line. (It's true; I do all my shopping way in advance and almost never at a mall).

Guy: What, they don't have lines in Hawaii?

Cordelia: Nope. No lines, and I love Christmas.

Guy: Oy. Studio 60 made you all caffeinated; you're using lots of words and repeating yourself like Aaron Sorkin.

Cordelia: Studio 60 didn't make me caffeinated! It's not even written like the previous shows--really hardly any excessive dialogue. It was a slightly better show this week, though--Danny...this show Danny, not The West Wing Danny...

Guy: Bradley Whitford?

Cordelia: Yeah. He asked out Jordan.

Guy: Even though she's pregnant? That's class (sarcastic-sounding)

Cordelia: Why is that bad? (confused)

Guy: I said it was class. So who's the father?

Cordelia: That doctor guy from the first episode who outed Danny.

Guy: It was him, then? I figured it was going to be Steven Weber or Ed Asner.

Cordelia: ED ASNER???

Guy: I figured it might be.

Cordelia: You do not have the spirit of Christmas. Ed Asner.

"Catch up" means all the episodes, right?

First of all, a note to Club Monaco: If your pants give your mannequins cameltoes, it may be time to rethink the design.

But the rest of this post has nothing to do with Club Monaco. It is a rant re: my anger at the Sci Fi Channel. Apart from the lame-ass movies they show (Final Destination II? Dead & Deader? Come on), they seem to have a loose grasp on the concept of episodes, and seasons, and whatnot.

Guy and I had been bugged to watch Battlestar Galactica for some time, and finally gave in a couple of months ago, and put Season 1 on the queue. Those of you in the know will hoot with laughter at this mistake. Battlestar Galactica doesn't start with Season 1! That would be too obvious! It starts with the miniseries! Duh!

Okay, so maybe if we'd known there had been a miniseries, we could have figured that out. So Guy and I are sitting there trying desperately to figure out what's going on:

"This is kind of confusing. Who is that guy again?"
"What's with the blonde chick? Is she an angel?"
"I don't like this show very much. It doesn't make any sense."
Etc.

Of course, once we got the miniseries, it all came together and no, she's not an angel, she's a hallucination of a cyborg. Duh.

But the "tricked ya!" attitude of the Sci Fi Channel doesn't stop there--oh no! They like to keep their viewers on their toes. Guy and I finished Season 2 last week (we're speedy), but were annoyed that it was so short. Three discs long? That's not a season. What the hell?

Oh, of course! Season 2.5 is next! Those wacky Sci Fi Channel people!

Last night, however, they crossed the line. Guy and I have also been under pressure to watch Heroes, which we have seen bits of while waiting for Studio 60 to start, and have been intrigued because hey, Jess! but very confused. But the Sci Fi Channel was running a recap of all the episodes to date (or so it was advertised) and we set the tape and then yesterday sat down to watch them so we could be ready for tonight.

However, the Sci Fi Channel only showed six episodes.

"Don't you remember that one scene where the creepy dad guy was trying to get the painter guy to take heroin? We didn't see that."
"And what about the charming Japanese guy who looks like he's going to burst a blood vessel? Doesn't he leave that restaurant and his friend counts to five and he's not there?"

Let me tell you, it's a good thing we would sit down early to make sure we caught the beginning of Studio 60. Because when we went online to check how many episodes there were supposed to be, the Sci Fi Channel didn't show the next four. We would have been so confused!

And there it was, closing on 10pm, and we were wondering what on earth we were going to do--wait for the show to come out on dvd and never catch up and be sad? No! Genius Guy remembered the iTunes carries TV shows--and lo and behold! Sadly, it would take 3 hrs per episode to download, unless we held the computer in that one spot on the stairs. And Maud likes to try to kill the computer.

We stayed up late to watch three of the four, and have just enough time to watch one before the show starts. Pathetic, and all the Sci Fi Channel's fault.

Incidentally, I wonder how on earth we're going to watch Studio 60 after this. Maybe as a make-you-sleep-before-bed kind of thing?

As I was typing the word "before," it came out "bore." Huh.

"Do you have a pen?"

I'd never make a Television Without Pity writer--for one thing, I have neither the time nor inclination to watch anything that closely. But I'd definitely never make a Studio 60 TWP person, because I thought about the things I wanted to say about last night's episode, and realized they were nearly exactly the things I said last week.

While this is certainly a bad sign for the continuation of this weekly Studio 60 review thing I'd been planning on doing, the question is, is it a bad sign for the show? Not very much happened last night, though we got to know Harriet. Of course, we just keep getting to know Harriet, and don't know much about anyone else. Honestly couldn't tell you Lobster Guy's name, though I like him.

But I think that's okay. My expectations have dropped fast--I'm no longer looking for a great show, I'm just looking for an enjoyable show, and I've got that. Guy will be thrilled to learn that I probably in the someday future won't need to watch every single episode (probably), since it's not as "hey, you missed one? Well, you're going to be confused for the rest of the entire series" as every other show I've ever been interested in watching.

I laughed, Sting played the lute, Lauren Graham got totally dissed but it looks like she'll be on next week so maybe that's okay, but I'm guessing that's probably the last you'll hear from me on the subject. Just don't have a whole lot to say.

Not the best candidate for re-gifting

I couldn't think of an actual line of dialogue from Monday night's Studio 60, probably because there were too many good ones to choose from--which hasn't been the case before.

So now that we have cable, I am able to proclaim that:

Bradley Whitford's hair really is that bright and appears to be there to stay.
They are underutilizing him terribly and that is very sad.
Christine Lahti annoyed me only a little but I'm sure that will change. For the worse, I'm saying.
Amanda Peet annoyed me not at all, but is increasingly pointless.
Everything else was really good!

I love the Big Three. Love them. There is fine funniness to be had. I keep saying this because I really didn't expect to. I expected to be all Bradley Whitford-Matthew Perry-nobody else really matters, but since Bradley Whitford's hardly ever onscreen, I've been forced to look elsewhere and am quite pleased by what I see.

Not that I wouldn't be happier to see more Bradley Whitford, mind. Oh, no. That would be a-okay with me.

It's supposed to be a buddy comedy/drama, right? They're buddies, joined at the hip, and constantly bantering and blabbering and it's Matt&Danny, one unit, they work together and play together and that's fun.

Wouldn't that require some shared screen time?

"Well, your teeth are pretty big."

We are still without cable (potentially more on this later from Guest Blogger Guy), so Studio 60 was still fuzzy, and dark everywhere except for Danny's hair. Driving me crazy that hair dye is.

However, I quite enjoyed last night's episode. It had a bit more action than the previous one, and returned to dealing with issues while still being funny (I love Tom Cruise impersonations, can't help it). I look forward to the days when they stop feeling the need to tell us that there are good guys and bad guys and which ones are which, in case we didn't catch the first ten times they said network=bad, and everybody who fights with the network=good.

I love the Big Three, and their interactions--I was expecting more of that from Matt; brainstorming, playing ideas off each other, etc, and mostly we just have him sitting in front of his computer looking glum, which makes it really hard to believe that the stuff he's writing is funny.

What is amusing is that five seconds before Jordan showed up to plant a big kiss on Danny's mouth, prompting the line "Well, there's only one way this story's going to go"--cut to Harriet and Jordan--is that I was thinking to myself "They need to get Danny a woman." He's too cut off and above everyone--including Matt, when you consider the patriotic/unpatriotic machinations (and let's talk about how that conversation went: don't read it--are you a boy cat or a girl cat--you're a pussy boy and you need to make fun of Bush more because God knows there's not enough of that going on). He needs a woman to bring him down amongst the rest of them and also so we can laugh at him because that's always fun.

I'm not sure Jordan's the woman though. I liked her a lot better this episode--she was more human, she was funny, she seemed genuinely happy instead of scary zombie smile. But seriously, what is she doing there all the time? I recognize that she went out on a limb for this show and so it is important for her career, but doesn't she have like five hundred other shows to worry about? Surely there's stuff going on there too.

"I've just decided it's not cool to dress like you're still in middle school"

Or some such similar line. My hands were occupied with knitting, not a pen and paper.

Okay, so what happened in last night's Studio 60? Besides Bradley Whitford's hair looking really bright blonde, but that could have been our lousy reception. Which was really lousy. We're giving up and looking into cable.

But even accounting for that handicap, I still can't think of anything that interesting that happened. Harriet got all pissy about a sex romp that didn't occur and she knows it. Matt got obsessed with a clock. Danny walked around trying really hard to be taken seriously even though his hair is bright and his name is Danny. And then there was a choir.

Guy complained that the show is just too damn tense--Matt and Danny taking over a show and having to be really pushy about it, Harriet calling on God to strike down Matt and making everybody uncomfortable, and nobody really cracking any jokes. The West Wing was definitely stressy, but it was a funny stress. You'd think a comedy show would provoke even more funny stress than running the country would.

On the other hand, Guy was freaking out for most of the episode because he was a) watching commercials against his will, and b) unable to fix the reception, despite many efforts. And I was stressed because I kept getting distracted and dropping stitches (one might suggest that I, you know, stop knitting if I want to watch a show, but I'm on a schedule. Christmas comes fast, man). So the tension may have been partly internal.

In any case, we're hoping that the jokes will improve with the reception, and anyway I'm stubborn and this is an Aaron Sorkin show with Matthew Perry and Bradley Whitford so I'm just going to wait for it to quit preaching and stressing and start bringing the funny.

"I'm sorry. That was strange."

Finally, a reason for me to have cable. Although we get that station in pretty good, and neither Matthew Perry nor Bradley Whitford are so great to look at that I need crystal-clear picture.

I'm talking, of course, about Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. Which from now on will be referred to simply as Studio 60 since that other name is way too long and kinda weird.

My thoughts? I'm thrilled about the show's existence. The lack of Aaron Sorkin made television pretty pointless. I think Matthew Perry is a comic genius when given the right material, and I'm glad he agrees that this is a good place for him. I mourned the death of The West Wing mainly because it meant that Bradley Whitford would be forced to return to the role of The Jerky White Guy that he has captured so well in the past (see Adventures in Babysitting, Scent of a Woman, Billy Ugh Madison, and many more). But hurray! Aaron Sorkin has resurrected him from the depths of hell once again! And I thought Amanda Peet was really funny in The Whole Nine Yards, and she and Matthew Perry certainly played well off each other, so this really ought to go well.

However. The reality was slightly different from my expectations. For one thing, it wasn't as funny as I thought a show about a comedy show was going to be. The fault in this lies mainly in Amanda Peet.

She was not funny. She was not likeable--in fact, she made me so uncomfortable that it was difficult to enjoy the show when she was on. I like machinations when I know they're on the side of right. Or the side of funny. She was neither.

I know pilot episodes are mainly set-up, and this certainly set a lot of stuff up. So let's just say I'm looking forward to next week.