Anticipation (Carly Simon-style)
Boy and Girl didn't get me anything for Mother's Day this year.*
In the past two years, I've gotten a chocolate flower, a bouquet of paper peonies (still prominently displayed), and a sun-pixie lily. The first year, I was so surprised and delighted by my chocolate flower I almost cried. It hadn't occurred to me that I would be given anything, and the idea that it occurred to Boy made me incredibly happy. The second year, having something that they made and picked out of their own accord (to my knowledge. I certainly didn't suggest it) made me feel valued and loved. I went around telling everybody what a great relationship I have with Boy and Girl.
And so, this year, I admit I was expecting a present. Not so much.
On the morning of, I heard Guy tell Boy and Girl to go wish me a Happy Mother's Day.
Boy: But she's not our Mom.
Guy: Go on.
Boy: (shouting) HAPPY STEPMOTHER'S DAY!
Cordelia: Um. There's no such thing. THANKS!
Girl: HAPPY STEPMOTHER'S DAY!
Cordelia: THANKS!
No card, nothing. I admit, I was hurt. And I felt all embarrassed, as if I had been trying to horn in on the day of momness, and sweet jesus, I wasn't.
But given a little while to think about it, it is more than a little ridiculous to complain about kids wanting to have Mother's Day be solely for their mother. It was very sweet, but really, Mother's Day is for moms, and when I look back, my happiness at receiving the chocolate flower was tinged with panic: "A Mother's Day present? For me? That's so sweet really I love you but OHMYGODI'MNOTYOURMOM."
So. I'm over my hurt feelings there. But one concern remains--is this indicative? Why the sudden decision to not think of me on Mother's Day, when they had in the past? What's changed? Are they not quite as happy about the engagement as they appear to be? Do they feel that in some way it threatens their mother? Does this mean that the good times are over and we are now going to go down the road of "I hate you" step-relating?
I can be a chicken-littlish person.
*Guy did. And so did Maud.
2 comments:
This would be my doing, Cordy--I'm sorry. The night you were out that we were supposed to make cards, we didn't. And the morning I was supposed to take them to Lowe's to find flowers, I didn't, either--I just wanted to hustle to the campground (photos forthcoming, tomorrow). I am the puppetmaster, but not so much this time around. My apologies.
No, but see it's NOT your doing. Or if you have been the puppetmaster in the past, I'm glad you stopped. IF they do this, I want it of their own accord entirely, with no encouragement from anyone (you included).
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