May 31, 2006

The Horror, The Horror!


Boy and Girl each have a pair of these. I almost fainted when Boy waved his croc-clad foot at me saying "Look-ee, look-ee, aren't they beaauutifulll?

In a word, no. They're hideous. Girl's aren't as bad, because she's four, and her feet are small, and small shoes are automatically cute, there's just no avoiding it. But the larger they get, the more horrid they are. I saw a grown man on the subway wearing these, and have not yet recovered.

I was afraid Boy would be beaten to death at recess for wearing such effeminate monstrosities, but it seems he's the envy of the school! Crocs are cool! Why??!!

Not only are they ugly, but they look like they'd be really uncomfortable. Not to mention they're made of plastic and so are probably just petri dishes for athlete's foot.

No, no, no, no. I just won't stand for it. Crocs cannot be cool. In what world are dorky, big, ugly, uncomfortable shoes cool?

Oh right. The world has gone mad.

Song:
I Can't Get My Head Around It, Aimee Mann

Quote:
Mal: "Which one do you figured tracked us?"
Zoe: "The ugly one, sir."
Mal: (beat) "Could you be more specific?"
(Firefly)

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

For whatever it's worth, I think they're ugly/cute, sort of in the same way bulldogs are. Looks aside, they are really REALLY comfy. C'mon, you secretly want to try a pair on, don't you?

Anonymous said...

boy & girl's dad said:

The thing I feared came to pass yesterday--some kids in the park were giving Boy shit about his Crocs, and it upset him. I don't think it's a case of being able to tell him that they're just jealous--they were calling them girls' shoes.

Anonymous said...

yeah, these things are everywhere. To me they look like some gross pair of gardening shoes that people are forgetting to change before going out for a latte.

if only that were the case....

Cordelia said...

You're freaking kidding me. TIE DIE???!! That's tragic!

Anonymous said...

Dispatch from the islands: Crocs have made it to paradise, straight to the corner of Wright and Kilauea where the residents are making a serious fashion statement. Hey, in Hawaii, EVERYTHING's cool.