Mar 7, 2007

And yet none of them appear in nature

I temp on 5th Avenue, so walking to work every morning, I pass by a wide selection of stores--everything from The Gap to BCBG Max Azria. And oddly, the clothes vary less than the mannequins used to display them. Very skinny, not so skinny, large breasts, no breasts. None have faces though. Andrew McCarthy must be so sad.

Very Skinny
No Breasts
Standout Detail: The mannequins stand with their hands on their plastic hipbones (not to say hips, because they have none), and stick out their pelvises, as if they are trying to move gas created by eating too many leafy veggies and no carbs.

American Apparel:
Midsize Breasts
Very Tall
Standout Detail: These women are ripped. They must go work out and lift weights at the mannequin gym because Damn those are some impressive biceps. I saw one of them getting changed, and she had kickass abs. Which is bizarre, considering that abs really don't show under clothes, but anyway it just proves that American Apparel is no longer the place to shop for that just-got-laid look, but is instead stuck in Flashdance Land.

Club Monaco
Small Breasts
Standout Detail: Well, apart from the aforementioned comes-with-cameltoe factor, these things just scare me. Club Monaco decks out each of their mannequins in the same outfit--and by the same I mean the exact same. If there's a scarf, they all have it tied the same way. If there's a skirt, the same pleat is lined up over the same knee. And then they line them all up like an army of badly-dressed zombies come to take over the world with cardigans and cropped pants.

Thin but not skinny
Large breasts
Standout detail: Hips! These are by far my favorite. I would mighty pleased with myself if I had a body like that. Hourglass, with a corset ribcage and tiny waist, and nicely rounded hips. And as for the breasts--those girls are perky. Not in a rest-your-teacup-on-them kind of way, but in a so-that's-why-they-call-it-a-rack kind of way.

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