French Connection can go FCUK itself

Walking to work is always a parade of joys--men in manpris and flip-flops (sorry folks, these are too dorky to be described as slippers), a woman in a lace cap and combat boots (you know, for fighting those tea party-type battles), and freakish dogs.

But the most blindingly offensive sights are always found in store windows. I have to avert my eyes from Issey Miyake's Pleats Please shop, as my favorite perfume it may be, but an attractive style choice pleats are not. Ever.

(Forgive the awkward grammar; I was forced to watch Star Wars this weekend, and my syntax has yet to unravel itself).

I have never liked French Connection, mainly because of their habit of writing their name all over all their clothes--what can I say, dressing as a billboard has never really been my thing. But today, they have earned my everlasting enmity.

They dressed a poor, undeserving mannequin in a knee-length black cocktail dress and suede ankle boots. Now, this may not sound particularly offensive, but this mannequin was over six feet tall, and yet appeared to have legs about six inches long, thanks to the hideous ankle boots. I hate ankle boots. Even worn with pants, they just look like some bad attempt at dressing up as Wilson Phillips groupies.

But worn with a cocktail dress??? That is just wrong. And if the makers and sellers of clothing are advocating this, then all hope will be lost.