Jun 8, 2006


Dear Cordelia:
What superhero (other than yourself, when the powers-that-be took an interest) would you like to be?

Cordelia says:
Are you talking about that crazy glowy-business I had going on before I was sucked up into the stars to be possessed by an evil Power? Yeah, that definitely wouldn't have been my top choice. If I'd been given a choice.

See, I've basically been hanging around superheroes all my life. Angel, Buffy, I guess Willow counts lately. . .None of them really have a sense of humor at this point. Power doesn't seem to corrupt necessarily, it just makes you cranky.

So hmmm. I saw Mystery Men, kinda lame, but I remember thinking Bill H. Macy as The Shoveler was funny. "I shovel well." I could do something like that. I could be The Woman Scorned, and just slap demons across the face or spill drinks on them and storm off.

On the other hand, they'd probably kill me when my back was turned. It'd be funny, but then I'd be dead.

So a little more power than huffy bitchiness is necessary.

You know what's handy? Teleportation. ( Why couldn't Jasmine have saddled me up with that? Floating, for crying out loud? What good does that do anyone?) You know what else is handy? Being able to hit really hard. So here's my Superhero CV:

1. I can teleport--and I'm not limited to places I can see, either--I can teleport to Rodeo Drive from The Valley. Or to Paris, for that matter.

2. I can hit really hard. A light slap, and the beastie is down for the count, crying and calling for his mama.

3. I am The Whacker. Poof, whack! Poof, whack! And so forth.

Femme Fatale, The Velvet Underground

Willow: Hey, how've you been?
Cordelia: Higher power. You?
Willow: Ultimate evil. But I got better.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Dear Cordy,
I dunno. The Whacker just sounds--well, as a guy would-be superhero, I gotta tell you--dirty.

You know how boys are...it's an obsession, and we can't help it.

Your Faithful Minion