Jun 29, 2006

Cooler Than Thou

A while back, I said to stay tuned for glamourousness, but that I was waiting for Daily Celeb to catch up with me. Granted, glamourousness that I'd attend wouldn't have people like Johnny Depp (sorry Elizabeth, still no Johnny sightings, but yes I'll give him your number if I ever do see him. Or the number you'll have when you're of age), but Daily Celeb will cover any event anywhere--World Cup Semi-Finals cocktail hour, for God's sake!

The point is, I realize that it could be argued that the glamourosity I'm about to relate is not that glamourous, which is why Daily Celeb and Gawker and suchlike could give a crap about my wee event. But I choose to think differently. I choose to think they've missed out on a juicy sighting, and everyone in the world has to rely on me to relate the real celebrity stories.

I was a plus-one at the premiere of Strangers With Candy. I went with a producer (or rather, I went with Guy, but he was pretending to be this producer friend of his, who had to be out of town).

It must be stated that Strangers With Candy is not my kind of thing. Grotesque, makes-you-uncomfortable humor usually just makes me uncomfortable and nauseous, rather than filled with mirth. I'm nutty that way. But a red carpet is a red carpet, even if I'm only walking next to it rather than on it. That's right folks, not everyone gets to walk the red carpet. There are bouncer types who I guess must be avid readers of Us Weekly, and it's their job to direct the unfamous to the other beige carpet.

Anyway, the movie--not my favorite. I laughed sometimes (though hardly ever at Amy Sedaris, who just made me grit my teeth). Stephen Colbert rocks. And that's about all I have to say. If you like the show, I'm sure you'll also like the movie. Plus Stephen Colbert rocks.

As we were coming out of the theater and debating going to the after party at Dylan's Candy Store, we had to edge around the crowds a little. I nimbly avoided getting elbowed in the boob by a woman in a very cute cherry-covered sundress.

I turned around to see who had such cute taste, and lo and behold, it was Amy Sedaris.

So obviously she was there. As was Paul Dinello, Greg Hollimon (hard to miss him, though Guy managed to every single time we crossed his path), and Deborah Rush. Stephen Colbert, sadly, was not there, but that's probably okay, as I have a steadfast rule to never talk to famous people, and in his case I'd be tempted to break it.

This policy comes from a traumatic experience in my childhood. I adored Emma Thompson. I loved her elegance, her sensitivity, her sublety, everything. And then one evening I came across an interview in Vanity Fair. Guess what? She's a vulgar bitch. I know, what's the big deal, but I was young and I worshipped her and I felt betrayed.

So now I do my best to know as little as possible about famous people that I like. The persona they present is more than enough--I read no entertainment magazines, and I close my ears to gossip.

Therefore, no Stephen Colbert=not a bad thing.

AND, best of all, they were giving out free candy. They handed out bags to everyone as we entered, and gluttony ensued.

Better still, Boy and Girl's dentist has just informed us that they are no longer allowed to have candy. So those bags are mine. All mine.

I had been concerned about the proper attire for this affair. In the end, I went with casual. A poofy springy skirt, a simple white top, and flats.

Let me tell you, that was the right choice. It was practically the uniform. Every female there was wearing basically the same thing.

Dress, PJ Harvey


Kaylee: (pointing to a pink frilly dress) "Say, look at the fluffy one!"

Zoe: "Too much foofaraw. If I'm going to wear a dress, I'd want something with some slink."

Wash: "You want a slinky dress? I can buy you a slinky dress. Captain, can I have money for a slinky dress?"

Jayne: "I'll chip in."

Zoe: (to Jayne) "I can hurt you."


ishmael said...

Mmmmm!! Free candy... wish I'd been there...

Awwwfancy said...

Aside on celebrity run-ins: I heartily support your vow not to talk to famous people. Stephen King was my idol as a kid, and his kids went to my school. He was sitting right across from me at a graduation ceremony, and after about 89 minutes of staring at his silk socks and sweatily clutching my program, I finally worked up the nerve to go ask him for his autograph. He said, "Aw, come on, give me a break, I'm at my kid's graduation, for Chrissakes." I was twelve. And I will NEVER list "Christine" as one of my favorite books EVER AGAIN, even though it really is.