If they cared a lot about shoes

I'm instituting a new policy: any shoes that I spot (or that anyone else spots and sends me a picture of) that are trying to be stylish but are in fact painful to look at will be duly displayed and, of course, mocked. This policy excludes: shoes worn by little old women, and shoes whose hideousness is related to their practicality (i.e. hiking boots or nursing sneakers).

Offender: What is with shiny metallicness? It's godawful! And to have them spread over such acreage as a pair of boots is true injustice. I'll take my copper. . .nowhere, thank you.


Also, and this really isn't fair because this is supposed to be Shoe Police, not general look police, but the shoes were the least of this chick's problems.


I will never have any respect for a woman who spends her money on a DKNY umbrella.

Offender:



Once again, my cell phone camera leaves something to be desired (and I was trying to be stealthy so as not to get beaten for photographing these beauties). But if you focus on the heel, and see that appalling pattern--well, that extended over the toe. Never mind that the design of these vans makes anyone's feet look several sizes bigger than they actually are, but the vintage/hipster/trying waaay too hard pattern makes for patriotically demented duckfeet.

Song:
He Made Us All Blind, Creeper Lagoon

Quote:
Rory: Agh, my shoes.
Lorelai: You don't need shoes. In my day, we walked twenty miles in the snow just to get to our shoes.
(Gilmore Girls)