Oct 5, 2006

Guy's Affair

Guy has a relationship that baffles me. He has this fascination, and this neverending faith--seriously, it never wavers, despite countless failures and disappointments.

This relationship is with the weather service.

For example, we had playoff tickets last night. Guy brought a raincoat, because he read that the rain was going to start at 11. When we got some slight drizzle at 8, and when folks on the field started rolling out the tarp, Guy (and everyone else around us) was quite annoyed: "It's not raining. Didn't they read the weather reports? The rain doesn't start until 11!"

The game was eventually cancelled.

I present for you the stages of reasoning Guy undergoes in similar situations:

"Goddamnit. They said 11. This is three hours early!"
"Guess they got it wrong."
"It's really hard to predict the weather."
"I have to remember to check the reports for tomorrow."

And that's where he loses me. It is hard to predict the weather--I cut these guys a lot of slack, and don't hold it against them when they're wrong. But since they are wrong so very often, I don't really depend on them. I bring umbrellas when it's raining. I wear a jacket when it's cold. Planning your life around what the weather service says, and then feeling betrayed when they're wrong, and THEN going back for more, is like an abused wife who stands by her husband.

Guy: "But they're right 65% of the time!"
Me: "If your accountant were right 65% of the time, you'd fire him!"

I'm debating performing an intervention. But weather reports are much harder to avoid than drugs--they're free, and they're everywhere.--elevator conversations, strangers on the platform, salesmen, coworkers. Addicts, all of them.

1 comment:

Guy said...

If I hadn't been adversely affected by this column, I might have believed the Weather Gods on WNYC this morning and worn a rain jacket. Instead, I'm going to get soaked. I have learned my lesson and must now atone!