Apr 25, 2006

Babies Get No Online Lovin'

I've been told I have something of a baby fetish, but really people, what's cuter, a kitten or a baby?

Okay, say I took an actual poll and compiled results--I bet they would come out something like this:
Kitten 45%
Baby 55%
And that's me being conservative.

And yet you know what the ratio is of cute kitten websites to cute baby websites? Like a million to none. None! (Again, that's based on crack research and careful polltaking). What about the 55% of us that like babies? All you cat people have kittenwar.com (which is hilarious, I grant you), but why is there no babywar.com?

Oh man. Can you imagine the competitive moms that hang around the playgrounds finding THAT website? (Yes, I am thinking of one mother in particular, and we all know who she is, I don't even have to say it). They would take my sweet, ironically titled babywar.com and turn it into full-scale reality--bonnets, tutus, uzis, the whole shebang.

Okay, so maybe not babywar.com. But what about just a website that can show me pictures of cute widdle babies?? Is that so much to ask??? And don't give me any of this crap that Guy's been spouting, like "maybe the mothers don't want to just post their babies' pictures on the internet. You know, creepy guys could be going to sites and whacking off." A) Yuck. And B) Bull. First of all, mommies are all over exploiting their babies--what about those Anne Geddes flower baby books? Where do you think she gets all her models? And don't you think said creepy guys just go out and pick up a copy of that book--I bet it's no more embarrassing to them than buying a copy of Playboy.

On a related topic, I have the cutest niece in the whole wide world. In one picture, she looks like a frog (in a good way). In another, she's got her mouth wide open and you can see her tonsils (again, in a good way). I'd post them, but I don't want any creepy guys looking at pictures of her.


Ishmael & Bronwyn said...

kittens are cuter :>)

dee Esq said...

Ugly Baby

A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver said, 'That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen.'
In a huff, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.

The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
'The bus driver insulted me.' she fumed.
The man sympathized and said: 'Why, he's a public servant and shouldn't say things to insult passengers.'

'You're right.'She said. 'I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind.'
'That's a good idea,' the man said. 'Here, let me hold your monkey.'